Friday, July 23, 2010

What New Form Of Alchemy Is This?


Hey this is Dispatch the Bichon. I's writing to youse cuz my mama? I'm thinking she may have lost it. Either that or she's like a Magician? I dunno, you be the judge. See she gets these bowls yesterday, this usually means food except for the one she puts the green stuff  in and throws it out, I've heard her tell the rugrats to take out the compost?  Anyway she goes and gets these two bowls and sits on the COUCH in the family room.  (you can see the family room is a workroom, old garage, tv room, rumpus room...thus the slime and laser/digital thermometer on the table, mama made me say that...)  The BOWLS on the COUCH have me puzzled in the first place, usually the BOWLS stay in the kitchen.  Little bowls come out for them to taunt me with eating ice cream in front of me but not the BIG BOWLS!

So then she's sitting there and granted the old broad is getting a bit long in the tooth but I thought surely she hadn't lost it yet.  I mean she remembers to feed me most of the time and can usually figure out what I'm so plainly telling her but this has me buffaloed.    See that's ME the ball of fluff watching MY MAMA take bits of green stuff like grass and puts part of it in one bowl and breaks the others in half or 1/3 and puts them in the other bowl?  I TRY AND TRY and smell but she has gone nuts?  I mean even strawberries and cantaloupe smell good to eat but this is insane and I'm a pretty good judge of insane.  And she is playing with them on the couch!  I hears her tell Daddy that it's been WAY too long since she has had a garden (my Aunt Peggi brought these green things, thanks Aunt Peggi, now my mama is NUTS!!)  because I'm 7 and have NO idea what snapping beans is all about.  Beans I know. That's the nasty part of Chili I think?  These are green mama!! Get a grip would ya!  I mean I try and try to figure out what she is doing, I stop short of actually EATING the raw green things but my gosh man they are right there in the BOWLS on the couch, I smell and paw and nose but there is not a clue to be found, the bowls just hold the green stuff, I try to lay down and can't, I'm entirely too upset, my food source and ability to look out tall windows has gone off her ROCKER!!  She is using the same BOWLS that hold real food like hamburger or chocolate cake batter, I don't get to eat the batter but it smells divine!!  I finally just gave up and let her go about her madness.  Pretty soon she takes the stuff in the kitchen and after awhile brings the things back to Daddy and he eats them with butter.  The butter I can understand, I'm pretty fond of butter but WHY would you sit and play with green stuff on the couch?  Still has me puzzled?
(note from Mama, the slime and the laser thermometer were Daddies, he was trying to expand his "pile" by the recliner...the slime and the thermometer left soon after that..., if I left him to his own devices we would have a welder and a jack under the tv in the family room.)

3 comments:

SquirrelQueen said...

Poor Dispatch, you will hurt your brain trying to figure out humans. Especially female humans.

I got a giggle out of the slime and thermometer. My hubby would have his lathe in the livingroom if it would fit through the door.

BlackLOG said...

I'm sorry but isn't under the telly the second best place to store a welder and jack? Obviously not quiet as good a store place as wherever you leave them, as it involves actual thought and getting down to place them, but pretty close all the same.....

戴昀黃慧婷德 said...

感謝不吝分享您的心得..................................................