In The Proper Spirit After Clearing Your Mind Of Impure Thoughts

I had to explain to someone Monday that Dispatch the Bichon Frise will only eat meat if you clear your mind of impure thoughts and offer the meat in the proper spirit.  The man was in a neighboring office of the one we were visiting and brought in some dog biscuits to have Dis sneer @ with utter distaste tempt Dispatch with.  I told him there was no way Dis would eat the dog biscuit unless he had gone without food for a few days and then I wasn't sure.  I also explained about the meat.  You think I'm kidding about the meat?  I'm not.  It's best if you focus on the dog and really want him to eat the meat.  If he thinks another animal might get it he will take it right away but otherwise it takes a few tries and he has to stomp off in the other room and then come back and decide he might show his benevolence by humoring your pathetic attempts to feed him.  I'm not kidding.  The ice cream I had this afternoon?  Now that was worth begging for, ice cream is life blood itself but must be offered in the proper spirit too.